Passion Conflagration
by Night Strider
Summary: Rukawa falls madly in love with Mitsui. Mitsui still loves Kogure but discovers a growing sensual attraction towards Rukawa. Kogure stays with Mitsui out of pity. CONCLUDED
1. Chapter I

Chapter I

Disclaimer: I don't own SD boys, Inoue does. The events that follow are not included in the original plot but enjoy, anyway.

The boy at the portal was silent and motionless. A sweat-soaked towel hung on his slender shoulders while a half empty mineral water was loosely clutched by his harried, left hand. Different-sized perspiration streamed down the fine angled planes of his temples to the surface of his smooth chin whence all droplets of sweat converged to fall down and hit the newly polished floor.

His back was resting against the edge of the door but his head wasn't in incumbency; his face was looking at his fatigued feet with the most expressionless gaze. He was awfully tired and no thought could've entered his mind then; how impossible it is to foster reason and rhyme when all your energy is transformed into another object's capacity.

And yet, the picture of that pitifully worn-out boy under broad daylight couldn't have been more perfect for it exuded all the potential ugliness of his physical form. All these couldn't sway desire or infatuation. Even in that state he was painstakingly gorgeous. His bluish black hair was tousled in a very virile manner though his facial features were very effeminate. His sapphire blue eyes could pierce a thousand hearts in a glance and the way his lips twisted into a smile wouldn't prove less enchanting or disturbing.

Not an iota of these details missed Kaede Rukawa's wary eyes, not a moment passed when he didn't praise Hisashi Mitsui's movements in the most concealed silence.

'Do I love him beyond my own understanding?' Rukawa thought as he heard the blow of a whistle.

'Break's over, guys. Get ready for the second half,' Ayako told the team.

'Can I miss this half? I could use up another minute,' Mitsui pleaded. He was almost panting in exhaustion.

'Not to worry, I'll back you up. Just rest for another quarter, it wouldn't hurt anyway," Kogure told him as he stood up and join the game. Mitsui gave him a smile and sat on the benches.

Nobody has been this friendly to his ex. Rukawa thought enviously. He knew of the heavenly intimacy between Mitsui and Kogure before the former had unwittingly left the club two years ago and turned to a whimsical self- absorbed gangster who immersed himself in the thought of sweet revenge.

Since Mitsui's return a few weeks earlier, Rukawa had managed to learn everything about his past. Mitsui was a former member of the team who left without warning and never came back until that fateful incident. But what troubled Rukawa ceaselessly was the ineffable warmth between Kogure and Mitsui after the latter's rehabilitation. It wasn't a mere friendship that passed between them; there was something inexplicably mutual about the way they treated each other. Whenever their sub captain showed up an ostensible joy could be traced on Mitsui's face like a child who had found a lost parent. That look is that of one whose heart is filled with love and longing. Rukawa concluded after a long meticulous study, feeling the pain in every artery of his nervous system.

At that moment, Kaede Rukawa had sworn to save his beloved from the madness that had clouded around him. But how? He wasn't the kind to reason out and express what he thought to anybody; he was a master one liner and there was no way he could put all he had to say to Mitsui in one short, trite phrase. Whatever. Kogure no longer loves him, I do. He thought.

TBC


	2. Chapter II

Chapter II  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own SD boys, Inoue does. The events that follow are not included in the original plot, but enjoy anyway.  
  
The star player of Shohoku High was a species of multiple idiosyncrasies. Aside from his knack of drawing mass attention either through his athletic skills or apathetic disposition, he was an extraordinary masterpiece of visual art. Only Hanamichi Sakuragi would not appreciate his 'foxy' looks as he would always put it to start a scuffle. Nevertheless, Kaede Rukawa remained the most popular player of the Shohoku Basketball team.  
  
His features weren't necessarily as striking as Mitsui's but such looks could unconsciously melt a frigid heart in a rather unlikely manner. His complexion was fair beyond normal, his eyes were sunk in a chasm of unfathomable indistinctiveness, and there was something mesmerizing and threatening about his character; something frighteningly attractive about his whole being.  
  
This troubled Mitsui Hisashi for whenever he felt the freshman's presence, a bolt of cold electric flash shot through the edges of his fragile body. It wasn't pain that he felt; it was more like a feverish excitement that led him to fear that uncanny feeling. Although he could not yet make anything out of these instances, he continued to steal furtive glances of the star player. When this happened he would contradict that deed with words or pay little heed to it. 'So what? I'm just looking, that's all. I still love Kogure anyway,' he said every time he caught himself in unawares.  
  
Mitsui knew very well where to draw the line between sensual inclination and true love; therefore, it was easy to decide between Rukawa and his Kogure.  
  
In truth, he wished to rid himself of this unintended attraction towards their star player. 'What are you, Hisashi? You only want to make out with him and after that, you'll throw him away like a disposable underwear,' he kept telling himself this, hoping the feeling would pass like a faint blow of a stray wind. 'But Kogure no longer has this thing for you. You know it,' said a tiny malevolent voice inside him.  
  
Not until this moment when a continuous stream of dark thoughts inundated his complacent mind. Truth was, Kogure no longer had feelings for him and he knew it, plainly, clearly, and agonizingly. He was only there because he pitied Mitsui for having missed all the opportunities of becoming Kanagawa's best high school player.  
  
But even as he struggled against all cruel possibilities of being dumped by the man of his dreams, Mitsui Hisashi's eyes haunted Kaede Rukawa as the latter moved from one side of the court to the other. Without will and knowledge he longed to press his palm against that wide set of muscular shoulders, he yearned to hold the surface of the star's pure and untouched cheeks, he craved to run his playful fingers down Rukawa's defined spine.  
  
Temptation is a case where neither conditions offers victory nor gain; you get lured to a pool of scandalous and temporary pleasure and drown unconsciously or get out of it empty handed. Either way, you lose the game. Lust is a luxury you can't afford, and a commodity like Kaede Rukawa was one most expensive and most in demand.  
  
TBC  
  
Author's note: if you guys are wondering why I rated this as such, it's because I think kids below the age of 17 will find it tiring to read. However, I can write something here that's surely for mature audience only. So enjoy reading and send reviews to tell me of what you guys think. I'm having second thoughts about the story. '___' 


	3. Chapter III

Chapter III

Disclaimer: I don't own SD boys, Inoue does. The events that follow are not included in the original plot, but enjoy anyway.

The sub captain of Shohoku High Basketball Team was a simple man; he was neither too talented nor too good looking for a senior high basketball player. However, he was perfect for everything that he was; responsible, hardworking, gentle, prudent, etc. which made him a suitable partner for a harsh and unruly teenager like Mitsui Hisashi.

For Kogure Kiminobu, his lover needed every inch of moral support to uplift his spirits so the guilt of his past would be forgotten and his sins forgiven. He did this to repay Mitsui's unshaken love that had remained unadulterated even when the latter chose to waste away with some unworthy company 2 years ago. Kindness and pity betrayed Kogure's feelings for this beautiful junior high MVP; all his love for him had disappeared amid space like a smoke puff from a cigarette that has breathed its last. 'None now could light it again,' Kogure told himself.

For Mitsui, nothing was impossible; a love that has fallen to oblivion can still be reawaken through repentance and hard work.

For Rukawa, it was all absurd and senseless. A one sided love affair is nothing but a torturous slow death that will drive anyone insane. He was so much grieved to endure even the idea of an I-love-you-never-mind-if-you-don't-love-me kind of relationship so he made up his mind to make himself heard to his beloved Mitsui for if he didn't, their madness would kill them both.

The practice ended at 6:30 in the afternoon. Everybody had packed his bag and left when Rukawa turned to Mitsui who was too exhausted to hurry and leave with their team mates. Rukawa, too, hadn't prepared his things; he wasn't at the point of going home at all.

The lights inside the stadium were already out except for the one in the locker room. Only the almost inaudible flaps of fire moths' wings could be heard within the vicinity. The night outside was fairly young and the sky was cloudless and lit with two thousand giant balls of burning gases surrounding the milky circle of the moon. The pleasing atmosphere was suggestive of a blissful romance between two passionate lovers but neither Rukawa nor Mitsui had such sentiment; they were sheltered by the high roofs of Shohoku High's basketball court to observe the beauty of the afternoon.

Rukawa watched the other who sat languidly on Mr. Anzai's chair. He moved to his direction and before he could stop himself,

'Sempai,' he blurted out.

Mitsui stared for a moment seeming lost in dreams. A portion of his face was covered by the shadow that blocked the light from the locker room. Not knowing what to say to Rukawa, he just nodded as if to mean 'go on'.

Rukawa stood silent. In fact, he hadn't yet readied himself to profess his 'true' love for the boy in front of him and at this point, he regretted taking notice of him. I should've left with the others a while ago. I'm gonna be in deep shit after this. He told himself realizing that a confession to Mitsui could result in painful rejection. That would be more than his sensitive heart could bear.

Rukawa wasn't the only one who was beside himself; Mitsui, too, was looking intently at him without meaningful expression. In truth, all thoughts about Kaede Rukawa filled his head; the star's killer eyes, his fair skin, his dark hair, his oh so stern beauty.each physical quality seemed to belong to a different being out of the corporeal world. It was such a fascinating sight that Mitsui forgot that the entity before him was breathing and watching.

'Sempai,' Rukawa repeated.

'Y-yes?' Mitsui tried to regain his composure before his imaginations got the better of him.

TBC 


	4. Chapter IV

Chapter IV

Disclaimer: I don't own SD boys, Inoue does. The events that follow are not included in the original plot, but enjoy anyway.

'One on one?' It was all Rukawa could think of to cover up the mess he had summoned; after all it was really his fault to have started an awkward encounter.

'I'm sorry, I just can't right now. I'm nearly spent and...' Mitsui faltered and took a deep breath, his eyes still locked on Rukawa's who felt very vulnerable being held by such a blinding glare.

The silence that followed dulled the possibility of a pleasant conversation. Each stood spellbound by the charm of the other. No word came out but their gaze told it all.

Mitsui started to move slowly and as he reached forward to the freshman, he felt an irresistible need to satisfy what was missing inside him; something Kogure could not and would not give him. He held Kaede Rukawa tightly on the shoulders with both hands and laid his head on the latter's chest.

Rukawa was in heaven. Mitsui was in terrible delirium.

Sweat began to pour from each pore of Rukawa's skin like a river of glowing lava bursting from the mouth of an awakened volcano. Never in his life had he been this close to a dream and Mitsui was as beautiful as one.

The senior did not let go of the freshman's trembling body; his face buried on his chest, his arms around his shoulders. Rukawa tried to untangle himself from his beloved's clutches but as he receded an inch, the other lifted up his face and locked his lips with his.

Rukawa tried to reciprocate Mitsui's efforts but a powerful and binding stillness rendered him helpless; all he could do was to let the other do the work.

The pungent scent of Mitsui's aftershave was now shared by Rukawa. They'd been in each other's arms for quite a time. 'Who cares if we leave this building smelling alike?' he asked himself aimlessly.

Then suddenly, as swift as a lightning blade emanating from the lofty columns of the clouds, Mitsui pushed Rukawa aside. An impending look of disdain played under his eyelids like a mighty serpent about to spill venom

'What have I been doing?' Mitsui said in a restrained but angry voice. Rukawa did not answer, his face lost in stark blackness.

Mitsui wanted to strike Rukawa as a warden would torture a prisoner. He felt a deluge of unvanquished guilt flowing in every vain of his body, drowning and suffocating his respiratory functions. 'How can I?' he asked himself again and again.

He looked at Rukawa and found no reason to harbor hatred; it was he, Mitsui, who started that unbearably despicable act of love. His strength failed him as he collapsed on a folding chair but managed to speak, hoping to straighten things up between them.

'Look, what just happened is unthinkable. Forget about it.' He said with remarkable boldness.

'How's that possible?' Rukawa spat back. It was the first time he spoke in minutes and he could not, by all means, grant Mitsui's demand. How could anyone forget the defining moment of his life?

'I was in delusion; quite too distressed to grasp reason. Anyone in my shoes could've done something like that or anything worse. Don't put any meaning to it, it's purely nothing,' Mitsui lied.

'Poor liar, you are.' Rukawa answered, surpassing any tone of scornfulness.

Mitsui couldn't speak; he had just lost a crucial debate. Rukawa turned to go without looking at him.

'Okay. You win. You got me. Happy now?' Mitsui gave in. 'Just don't tell anyone what happened or you're done for.' He finished.

Rukawa just nodded, neither satisfied nor disappointed.

Mitsui couldn't bear the thought of forsaking Rukawa. He didn't know if a certain seriousness had assumed existence in his core feelings for the freshman; all he knew was that no state of euphoria could replace that moment. 'Ok. At least I'm no longer scared to look at him.' He said to himself.

TBC 


	5. Chapter V

Chapter V

Author's note: Long chapter. Bear with the digression and emote lines. I'm completely mushy and terribly cheesy at this moment.

Disclaimer: I don't own SD boys, Inoue does. The events that follow are not included in the original plot but enjoy anyway.

What happened the night before didn't come as an impediment for a good practice game. In fact, Rukawa and Mitsui acted perfectly normal and unruffled. They did steal glances at each other but the frequency of such instances couldn't be considered excessive or anything more than necessary.

It was morning, around 9:30. The whole team still had to attend classes so there was the usual commotion inside the locker room as the boys hurried themselves to get packing for their next subjects. Rukawa was the only one who didn't bother to join the scuffle; what did he care if their math teacher threatened to fail him after incurring another tardiness?

'Hurry up, boys! Bell's ringing in 5 minutes,' Ayako told them. She was already in her school uniform.

'Tensai coming through! Give way or I'll crack your...' Sakuragi was shouting at everyone as he struggled to put his under shirt on.

'Damn! Who got my towel? I swear I placed it here before I went to the showers. Yasuda, hand one over!' Ryota Miyagi bickered.

'Hey, who stole my undies?' Mitsui was addressing the freshmen on the bench who gave him a we-don't-give-a-fuck-about-missing-underwear look.

'Kakuta, put your shoes inside your locker, for Christ's sake! Kuwata, your shirt! Sakuragi, where are the floor mops?' Their captain Akagi was observing them tightly, he was the first to get himself prepared as usual.

After 10 minutes the whole team was ready. Rukawa headed to the 3rd floor for math and found out that their austere, ancient teacher had begun delivering his inapplicable and completely text based lesson on numerical sentences and representations. Listening to that kind of discussion with your palm on your chin is as sickening as removing your socks and putting them back on for a hundred times.

'Oh well. I guess I'll loiter around some more,' Rukawa said to himself as he turned his back on his classroom's door to walk about aimlessly on the empty corridor. He looked at the clock; he had exactly 43 minutes and 35 seconds to roam and kill time. 'There's plenty of minutes left. What the hell can I do in 40 minutes without stuffing myself with senseless boredom?' He thought. Only one place came to his mind; the infirmary. He could lay down on one of the beds and take a nice nap for God knows how many minutes more and no one would ever dare throw chalks at him while he was doing so. Perfect.

He strode quietly down the flight of stairs with his hands on his pockets, emphasizing the uselessness of the railing beside him. Assuming that stance for uncounted years, he could actually walk with his eyes closed without tripping over or stumbling upon something. Yeah, he'd mastered his habits well enough to earn him a doctorate in any prestigious university that offered the kind of curriculum, only there wasn't any.

He reached the first floor quite safely ('Great, the mousy supervisor isn't around invading other people's business!) and went straight for the infirmary. A young and prissy nurse answered to him.

'What's your problem?' She asked Rukawa in a stern and unchanging tone which aroused for needless intimidation. Rukawa didn't need to think for a moment; he had a cogent excuse for missing school hours at the moment.

'Anemia.' Rukawa answered tersely. He didn't dare display hesitation whatsoever otherwise, he was done for.

'Let me check.' She studied Rukawa in all angles and after a long and uncareful observation,

'Looks like a positive case. Your skin is paler than ordinary. I suggest you try eating iron and iodine rich food and take some of these at least once a day,' she brought out a set of tiny white pellets which reminded Rukawa of unpolished cultivated pearls. ' And you can lie on the bed beside the kid with glasses.' She pointed behind the divider and went on with her work.

Rukawa walked in and sat on the bed assigned to him. The boy with glasses stirred and smiled at the sight of Rukawa. Kogure was lying on the bed beside his. He had unwittingly injured his right toe earlier after grabbing an offensive rebound. By the look of it his fall was ugly and undeniably clumsy, the whole team thought he must've twisted an ankle but it turned out to be a lucky day for him; he only received a misplaced toe joint and would be recovering in a few days.

'Why are you here?' Kogure looked at him. Strange enough, his face didn't contort in dubious confusion but rather looked sincerely concerned.

'Late for math.' Rukawa answered in his ever hollow and original manner of speaking.

'Oh, I see,' Kogure said with an okay-I-get-it sort of smile. 'I suppose you want to doze off a little, don't you?'

Rukawa just nodded and stretched himself comfortably with his shoes still on. He didn't want to trouble himself putting them back on once the time was up. He thought of the boy beside him. Didn't he want the world to get rid of him? Wasn't he the one who vied with him to win Mitsui's affection? Or was there rivalry at all? Perhaps. But what would it be like if Kogure hadn't met Mitsui? Would he want somebody else other than Rukawa? Perhaps also.

He strove to answer each of the posted question, slowly, carefully, and justly. In the most objective mode of answering the questions of dilemma, he learned that the odds were against him. If this were a gladiator match, he would be an unexperienced warrior versus a whole horde of starving lions fresh from their bloody, steel den. When would the circumstances turn their causes to a more favorable position for someone as desperate as Kaede Rukawa? When would time sacrifice itself to provide for a crucial opportunity to bring about reason and sense? Was there a price to pay for dreaming after all the anguish this dangerous obssession had borne?

It was no longer in his hands to provide for answers. Mitsui alone had the right to do so. Rukawa kept his lids still. He knew that no stroke of drowsiness could defy the rushing adrenaline flowing inside him. This was the result of his breakdown, of his stressful meditation that deteriorated both his physical strength and cognitive abilities. His brainwaves stopped flowing in every vessel inside his body; he must be really sick after all.

40 minutes had gone by when somebody appeared at the portal of the infirmary. Mitsui Hisashi had dropped by to fetch Kogure.

His eyes fell instead on Rukawa who had just gotten up to leave them alone. Mitsui looked at him listlessly but deep inside, he was dying to know what went wrong with him.

'What happened?' He asked Rukawa before he could control himself.

'Late for math,' was Rukawa's reply. Mitsui nodded and smiled,

'Well, that should pose a warning to you. You should try to move a little faster next time,' He said, still wearing the nameless smile on his oh so gorgeous face. 'You want to walk with us to your next class?'

'I'm staying.' Rukawa changed his mind as he watched the two take leave of him. He heard Mitsui ask Kogure how he was or was he feeling strong enough to walk without support or did he need something to drink and so on. 'A sick flirt, that Mitsui.' Rukawa said whose anger knew no bounds at the moment.

'Why the fuck does he act like that? Talking to me like we just had a nice coffee together. But how would he handle it otherwise? It's so typical for someone who tries his best to hide something that may ruin him. Yeah, men act like that in front of their boyfriends after cheating on them. But the way Mitsui takes it; natural above all banalities, and yet so common and...' Rukawa couldn't find the words, it was upposed to be so common and well, obvious.

TBC

Reviews or flames, whatever, just send them. 


	6. Chapter VI

Chapter VI

Disclaimer: I don't own SD boys, Inoue does. The events that follow are not included in the original plot but enjoy anyway. (Hindi ako ang nagmamayari ng mga tauhan ng SD, si Inoue ang gumawa sa kanila. Ang mga sumusunod na pangyayari ay hindi kasama sa tunay na istorya pero magsaya ka na lang sa pagbabasa '--')

Rukawa lingered for another hour in the infirmary. He didn't mind if he was missing the next subject after the first one. 'So what? I've got enough shit to worry about without fussing over absences and tardiness.' The previous encounter made him feel oddly nauseated, like he'd just been forced to eat raw meat and drink strawberry milk for breakfast. To make matters worse, an incipient neuralgia began to traverse every unfilled space of his insides. He laid himself again, feeling more sickly than he'd ever been. He closed his eyes and as his obstinate brain cells shut themselves down one by one, he began to sink in a dreamless, almost pointless sleep.

Next thing he knew was it was time for dismissal; around 4:30 in the afternoon. The nurse was shaking him.

'Bedtime's over, Mr. Pretty, Go home and try to consult your family physician. You're not looking completely healthy with that color on,' She said demandingly as she fixed the pillows and mattress Rukawa had just used.

As Rukawa stepped out of the door he found Mitsui leaning against the wall beside him. He was ill at ease waiting for Rukawa to get up and he didn't make any effort to hide this.

'There. I thought you're spending the night here,' He said as he spotted Rukawa.

'Fell asleep.' Rukawa answered half heartedly. He gave a look that unmistakably meant 'Why're you still here?' Mitsui didn't miss this and said,

'I was going home late. I thought I should check on you,'

'Great. So now he's performing his duty as a responsible boyfriend with two jobs and two bosses.' Rukawa told himself but then, he didn't have the right to clench his teeth or his fist. He should be thankful Mitsui didn't run off with Kogure right away. They ambled together down the corridor to the main gate. Most of the students had gone straight home so there was little to worry about people seeing them get hearty and all.

'I was thinking about telling him what happened,' Mitsui said as they reached the gate. Rukawa held him long in his glance.

Mitsui felt as if a damp, icy air were all of a sudden glued to his limbs and neck. He shuddered at the mere sangfroid Rukawa showed to him as if the Antarctica had clouded before him, placing discord in every tincture of harmony between them. But try as he might, he couldn't read even the very riddle of that expression; its depth was unfathomable as it was dreadful and unnerving.

'Of course it's only a suggestion. If you have an alternative, I'd be glad to hear it.' Mitsui said suddenly. Rukawa shook his head. He himself couldn't comprehend the necessity of a confession. Why shouldn't they keep it secret? Let it lie dormant that no one should ever uncover what happened that night. If the affair should, in their own will, stand active, why not sustain it surreptitiously? If there was a better choice, it would be for Mitsui to cut ties with Kogure. Break up with him and run off with Rukawa. Neat. If only it wouldn't make Rukawa seem like a barefaced thief of love, he would've laid it to Mitsui as simple as pulling up a 14 footer jumper.

'Why tell him about it?' Rukawa said.

'I'm not a stone-head to coop it all inside me so easily. I've got a relationship to take care of so it pays being honest,' Mitsui said. Something bright lingered in his sullen eyes that withdrew all the weariness inside him; the onerous feeling that dimmed his composure for the time being had been brought to the limelight, giving Rukawa the full blast of it. 'Only I must make a choice by doing so.' He finished.

'Ok, go ahead and go after our sub captain. You'd never leave him anyway, not for a guy like me. You only want me for your school boy escapades and you wouldn't depend on me in anything that concerns serious feelings. I'm a mere provider of anything that spelunker couldn't give you...' Rukawa wanted to thrash all these to Mitsui but being the tight throated devil that he was, he failed to volunteer a single word. He simply looked away in agony.

'Listen, you have to help me. I...I don't know what to think or what to expect...I thought I couldn't wish for more than what I have with him and then,' Mitsui faltered. and went on, 'You came and I became like this...'

'Became what?'

'Helpless.'

'Helpless?' Rukawa glared at him.

'Yes. Maybe I'm going nuts about all this.'

'Make a choice then. Him or me?' Rukawa said with all boldness.

'It wouldn't help. I might kill myself after doing so. If I choose him, I'll probably miss you like crazy but if I choose you...'

'You'll go kill yourself right away.' Rukawa answered for him.

'I can't help you.' Rukawa said to him.

Mitsui didn't speak. He just knew what to answer, only he couldn't spell it out to Rukawa. He was awfully aware of Rukawa's feelings for him; one morning, it just came to him like a wayward midnight breeze in a cold autumn, sending painful shots through the corners of his body. A pang of remorse took hold of him, throwing dark recollections of his own wrongdoings toward the ones he loved. His guilt didn't go as a nuisance to shun redress; despite his feelings, he spent the night with Kaede Rukawa and phoned Kogure that he'd be sleeping over at his cousin's.

TBC 


	7. Chapter VII

Chapter VII

Disclaimer: I don't own SD boys, Inoue does. The events that follow are not included in the original plot but enjoy anyway. (Hindi ako ang nagmamayari ng mga tauhan ng SD, si Inoue ang gumawa sa kanila. Ang mga sumusunod na pangyayari ay hindi kasama sa tunay na istorya pero magsaya ka na lang sa pagbabasa '--')

Disclaimer 2: Song featured is written by Third Eye Blind

A/N: This chapter's for annedrew. I'm really sorry for the delay but I have to admit that it wasn't just school works that caused procrastination; I was devoid of inspiration and was quite in a state of literary decay...really sorry. anyway, this is gonna be so dramatic and angsty to the point of being annoying but enjoy anyway.

What started as trivial, clandestine meetings with Rukawa drastically transformed into something permanent and frequent; its regularity suddenly became as mechanical as attending school days and team practices. In short, it was the official status quo that constituted Mitsui and Rukawa's daily grind; rendezvous behind the campus' building's yard at 4:30 and savor their get-together hour until the final moment ticked off. But to Rukawa's dejection, Mitsui's passion towards what they had seemed to enervate each day in conjunction with chagrin and sheer ignominy. Clearly, Mitsui was still not the owner of everything he felt; within the hidden depths of his heart's most sacred chasms, there was still a part of Kogure's which he just couldn't scrape himself from, that is, his all-excluding devotion for him. Day and night without letup, he had been haunted my Kogure's serene concern for him; and the more the latter flaunted his tenderness, the more he became dear to Mitsui. This hampered Mitsui beyond imagination that he had become apparently pared down and bug eyed due to wearisome contemplations and consecutive sleepless nights. But however that might be, he had gone on hand in hand with both Rukawa and Kogure at alternating instances in great risk of his position.

Monday. 7:45 pm. Mitsui residence.

Every thought that I repent,

there's another chip you haven't spent

and you're cashing them all in,

where do we begin to get clean again?

Can we get clean again...?

The unreleased single by the international rock group Third Eye Blind wafted over the pervading placidity that hung around Hisashi Mitsui's room. Before Rukawa had had the pivotal moment to blaspheme what was there between Mitsui and Kogure, this song seemed to Mitsui a mere jargon whose words had been arranged in a certain but vague manner to achieve a rhythmic flow in each stanza; but at the precise moment he let Rukawa into his life, the esoteric elements that once mottled these phrases ebbed away to uncover the meaningful and somewhat fictitious essence of the writer's message. It was an intonation of utter frustration on the side of the writer added with a concentrated gravity to be subject to temptation that led him to believe he was helpless in any case. For Mitsui, he was in no better stance; he had been the eye of this forceful vortex, the power source of the acute love triangle among Shohoku's core players and by no means could he untangle the skein he had knotted together in treachery without morally degrading himself. All he could do was to remain as the story's deceitful king of wishful thinking unless he finally decided to slate himself to a point blank confession.

'I have to get this straightened up or else...' Mitsui told himself as he pummeled idly on his bed. This had been the only muttered phrase from his daily script on this beautiful Monday. For hours, he had holed up in his room repeating 'I have to straighten this up...' again and again that not uttering it for a second would seem unnatural and awkward. He thought for another set of minutes and gathered up what he had concluded from his solitary reasoning; he had to call Kogure.

He stretched himself up from slouching off and reached out his quivering hand to the phone on his bedside. He dialed their Sub captain's number as he heard the receiver from the other end ring thrice.

'Hello?' Kogure answered. How his voice, though hackneyed and meaningless, was music to Mitsui's ears.

'Kiminobu. Mitsui here.'

'Oh,' Kogure said in a voice that seemed to be touch with a pretense to sound interested. 'You need something?'

'Yeah...I guess so,'

'I hope it's not about your knee. It's not hurting, is it?' Kogure said in an almost dull tone that Mitsui guessed Kogure was very much aware that it wasn't so.

'No. Not at all.' Mitsui muttered with a disengaged tone. He wanted so much to declare that something more was hurting inside him, something that couldn't be diagnosed properly or be sufficed by any medical attention.

'Uhm...What is it?'

'Something has been bending me out of shape for the last few weeks. I'm feeling completely troughed...I...' Mitsui faltered. He hadn't cached up enough momentum to go for the red mark and ended up nondescript.

'You don't sound so healthy. Are you sick?' Kogure asked. This time, there was conviction in his words and he was unquestionably worried.

'No. But I'm staggering pretty badly here. I mean, emotional distress...Kiminobu, I can't...' I can't let you remain irrevocably stereotyped as an ignorant cuckold in this liaison; I've cheated on you and gave much of myself to Rukawa when you weren't looking. I'm an incorrigible adulterer, Kiminobu, a 'enunciable' all-surface chap cum scapegoat who's too prone to the devil, and I can't constrain myself. He intended to end it all up that way but a headstrong impetus made him impervious to any lofty call of conscience coming from his morale.

'Hisashi,' Kogure said in a perturbed manner; when he addressed Mitsui in a first name basis, it irrefutably meant that he was in for a one on one, personal talk with him. 'What is it about?'

'Us.'

'Us?' Kogure asked meekly. He wondered if 'us' still existed then. 'I can't see why, honestly. I mean, I haven't offended you in a way, or at least that's what I know. If there's something you don't want in this, just tell me; I can always lend an ear, you know that.' Kogure finished in his usual self satisfied tranquility.

'I know. It's just that...' Mitsui stopped short again and feeling that the other was already up in his head, he went on, 'I can't hurt you, you know that. Please don't waver on me...I can't...I can't be without you.'

'Hisashi, I've already told you; if you need help, I'm here.'

'Kiminobu.' Mitsui said, his tone suddenly jumping to another scale of volume and symphony. The problem is; What if I myself am the criminal? Would I deserve half your generosity? Would you jilt me unheard? Am I worth sounding out or being succored? Mitsui hankered to thrash all these but he had become immediately ashamed by the thought of Kogure's imminent disdain that he failed to entail his word with the pat sentence.

'What's wrong? Tell me what happened so we can get this all wrapped up,' Kogure proposed affably as if striving to soothe Mitsui's complicated tumult.

But not a syllable was ventured as a resounding silence reigned over from each end of their phone wires. Mitsui's former enthusiasm for the disgraceful revelation that he had to preside over suddenly landed in decrescendo as he felt the urge to all the more secure his relation with Rukawa. He couldn't hazard their affair now that he'd just known such happiness with him, but at the same time, he couldn't pit himself against the lies he had already stacked upon the one he loved, Kogure, whom he respected above all else and perhaps, even prized beyond measure. Being torn in heart and mind, he determined instead to cloak the existence of his infidelity that had been perpetuated by Rukawa's unquestionable and singular desire for him. Without further squabbling, Mitsui let out a long but somewhat undisclosed statement that could've aroused that much haziness,

'Listen, Kiminobu. No matter what, I respect you and am all for you; you know that, and nothing could blot out what we have for each other, not even if I cease to breathe at this very moment. What's in the scales is that I love you irrationally, inescapably, and infinitely; it doesn't matter if I fuck up at times; that can't be helped, I'm only human. But there's one thing I'm sure of; that though I'm subject to all filth a man can muster, I'm also capable of sacrificing a great deal of me. I could and am willing to lose everything to you and for you only, and if that isn't enough to make me worthy of you then let me give some more; you deserve someone more chaste and sinless than I am. But I love you. Please don't scorn the words of a man who has received much of the world's torment and joy the very moment you'd come to him, don't doubt the sincerity of my sentiments; it's all written in me...Goodbye,'

'Hang on, Hisashi-'

But the line went dead. Kogure grew excessively pensive and restless as thoughts about Mitsui invaded his silent lay off. Many conjectures came filling the abyss behind his skull and one dreadful thing he had surmised sent a rapid tremor beneath his skin and within the blood rush inside him; suicide. Is Mitsui guilty of scheming suicide at this moment? He thought. But he was too pent up to further spar the matter with his conflicted state of mind; a mental exhaustion seemed to bleed him dry in merciless strokes as he forced himself to read between the lines. What was it that Mitsui wanted to tell him?

Next day. 10:00 am. Shohoku Gym during practice break.

'Hisashi, a word please,' Kogure called to him. Mitsui, who was sitting next to Rukawa, immediately got up to follow Kogure. Rukawa drew a blank expression at Mitsui as his eyes fetched Mitsui's strides while the latter disappeared behind the entrance door. Kogure led Mitsui to the school yard. From what Mitsui could see, Kogure was looking particularly solemn and moist eyed. And suddenly, he felt a strange desire welling up inside him as they streaked further away from public witnesses; to grieve at his beloved's plaintive and thus forgetting his own.

Kogure's plain profile stood still before him; and the more clearly he materialized in MItsui's visual screen, the heavier his chest got as though being anchored by a ton of hefty machinery and as Kogure spoke, the cumbersome load didn't evaporate out of him.

'About the phone call. Hisashi, I'm worried; what is it that's depressing you?' Kogure said in an almost supressed tears. By now, judging by MItsui's conspicuous agitation, he had been assured that something was about to ensue with radical difficulty.

'It's me. I deserve to be decked. Kogure, forgive me. Please.' Mitsui said in an unexpected candor that Kogure shot him a look of confusion soldered with cool pity from his face.

Kogure paused for awhile; how odd it was to expect condescension from Mitsui, he wondered. But despite the obscurity that had suffused between them, Kogure felt as if a rampant pathos was taking hold of him and he knew it. At that moment, everything that was torturing his lover seemed to be grasped by his own reason, and though nothing was yet affirmed with regard to Mitsui's incomprehensible apology, Kogure felt that the impending, tearful conversation must start with it. Finally, he had become accustomed to sharing the magnitude of Mitsui's unknown loneliness and he was filled with pity for him.

'Hisashi, I still don't know what you're sorry for. But I hope you wouldn't go on as sad as you are. If you'll tell me, trust me we'll sort it out. But now, I can't still tell what the grounds are for being sorry or in what case should I forgive you. And until now, I'm still shocked about what you told me yesterday...what is it?' Kogure said patiently despite the fact that he had made himself completely redundant in trying to seek out anything from Mitsui.

'I'm a pest, that's it. And being a pest, I'm also plagued with animal instincts,' yeah, that execrable infection that's controlling these creatures is the king of me; I'm guilty of debauchery because I can't help desiring Rukawa besides you. Mitsui longed to add, but managed to speak what he could say only.

'And so am I; I'm also human too. But what is it?' Kogure said.

But you're so unsullied and pure and chaste, wherefore I'm dipped in filth. Mitsui thought.

'Don't degrade yourself by leveling yourself with me; you're too clean to be juxtaposed in any way with me.' Mitsui said.

'Why do you keep on slandering yourself? Have you done anything naughty lately?'

'Naughty is out of the statement; I've done something evil to you and to myself and to HIM,' Mitsui said, employing all means to make his answer trite and understood.

'Me, you, and him? Who's him?'

'Rukawa.' Mitsui said in a tone of reticent bitterness.

'What?'

'He's cheated on you.' A voice sprang out from the momentary lethargy that had breezed for a while Mitsui and Kogure were speechless. Kaede Rukawa had come to join their private discourse.

TBC 


	8. Final Chapter

Final Chapter Disclaimer: I don't own SD boys, Inoue does. The evnts that follow are not included in the original plot but enjoy anyway.

A/N: After 100 million years, I finally decided to end this story which has been thoroughly fossilized inside my document folder. Perhaps, I don't want to be that incompetent writer that I was who couldn't find a resolution of her own. Ah, nevermind. I dedicate this chapter to Michiko hotie 19. Thanks very much for taking the agony to go through the piles of crap that I've uploaded in this site.

And the wind went silent as if to hear the controversy of what was about to ensue. Kogure's eyes widened with surprise; of all people to be involved, he took Rukawa to the least consideration. But Rukawa was there now and his face was all set. Kogure had often seen that determination on the freshman's face during games; those were the times when Rukawa would fearlessly struggle in to get a point despite the defending bodies around him. Mitsui looked away in shame; he too couldn't believe Rukawa's courage in this as he realized the despicable caitiff that he was.

'Rukawa, I don't know exactly what have you to do with this but if you would be so kind to explain, please do.' Kogure muttered prudely in a stern tone, albeit hiding his confusion regarding the matter.

But Mitsui regained what was left of his roughed courage, faced the two, and wiped away his anxieties as he interjected even before Rukawa could say anything.

'I don't deny that he has something to do with this but Kiminobu,' Mitsui breathed in to the depth of his pitiable lungs. 'Rukawa is faultless. If someone's to blame here; it is I. I've been with him for a while and though I still love you I can't help it but to desire him as well.'

And a silence protracted in painful duration. Rukawa frowned a little though he didn't mean to express his abysmal contempt for Mitsui's confession. Of course the freshman was dissatisfied; all this time he was expecting that Mitsui's feelings for him had matured into something that could last and not just some frivolous emotions like lust and passion. Rukawa gave much of himself to the senior hoping that the latter would ultimately end up loving him but as he heard the word 'desire'...it just pained him. What was more, Mitsui still claimed his eternal, over lavished love for Kogure. Damn, if words were needles; Rukawa would be like an acupunctured patient. Now, it was Rukawa's turn to look away. He was afraid that Kogure might accept Mitsui's love once again and he would be abandoned in this tangle of crazy love; in that case, that would be his sockodologer. He was too afraid indeed.

'Hisashi, does this mean that something has been going on between you and Rukawa?' Kogure's eyes narrowed with reproach. Neither Rukawa nor Mitsui could tell if he was annoyed by the philandering in which he had been the victim yet his look was threatening enough to make the other 2 speechless for awhile. 'Is it true, Rukawa?' Kogure then directed his question to the freshman, knowing that Mitsui couldn't yet gather himself up for a pivotal concession.

Rukawa nodded unconscientiously without reluctance. He didn't care anymore if this blow would calumnize Mitsui who had hurt him beyond calculation only minutes ago. They were even now, both sides being injured. But Mitsui has to choose now, Rukawa thought.

Kogure sighed, perhaps in dismay, perhaps in relief for getting things straightened up. But his expression was grievous, the kind that he wore when they fell from elimination during their previous years in varsity.

'Yes. I've been with Rukawa and I won't deny that I'm bloody attracted to him. But I will repeat it again as I always have; I still love you, Kiminobu.' Mitsui mumbled finally as he threw a teary, dramatic eye on Kogure. This gesture only gave an incremental pain on Rukawa who had been playing his part as an audience to this pathetic wooing. Rukawa hated it when Mitsui acted this way, as if he was some removable object who had plugged ears for ears, as if he had no feelings of his own. He then realized Mitsui's self centeredness and despicable selfishness; he didn't care enough for Rukawa to even acknowledge the latter's potential feelings or pain.

Rukawa prompted a sour grunt; one of those rare instances when he would emit a sign of his vehemence. There was now no sense of being anything for Rukawa except to be bitter and shirty; he'd been losing it all since he heard Mitsui's side and he couldn't do anything about it. Right then Rukawa had deduced a principle from this lousy experience; to never care for anyone again so nothing would hurt him onwards. Mitsui looked at him with an inexplicable glance as if it was the first time he heard of Rukawa. He was sorry for the freshman and if he could, he would rather have Rukawa with him as well. But moments drilled and he learned that...

'Hisashi, I can't--we can't bring it all back again. I no longer feel the same.' Kogure said lowly as such a faint whisper. Truth--there was only truth in his voice and even his eyes quivered with morbid frankness. Mitsui felt choked and held both his hands, swung them up to his face, until finally bending down in defeat with all his dignity slumped on the ground to sink in the end. Kogure stared at him with difficulty; he still cared for Mitsui but in brotherly terms only. What with all they went through, they were not enough to conjure back a long, lost love.

'Hisashi, I'm sorry.' Kogure stooped down to tend to Mitsui. 'I would've been glad for you and Rukawa but if only you could efface what you have for me then everything would be---'

'Everything would be what!' Mitsui hollered in a shunting, wrangling voice. The wind seemed to respond as it created a stir around them three. 'I'm done for without you, Kiminobu. You know that! And now you dare tell me that everything would be...'

'Would be perfect. If you would just get over me, then everything will be perfect for you and Rukawa.' Kogure said solemnly with arrant conviction, even like an encouragement to cheer up the downtrodden. 'Can't you see, Hisashi? Rukawa cares for you so much. He knows your heartbeat and to whom it beats for yet despite the belief that it isn't for him, he still stands by your side.'

'But I love you.' Mitsui mumbled to Kogure; again he said it in a way as if he and Kogure were the only living entities there. It hit Rukawa like a whiplash and as if he couldn't take anymore whit, he marched away to leave the 2.

And all Kogure and Mitsui could manage was to watch the poor freshman thump away from them. He had been hurt, no question. And it seemed that he wouldn't heal after that, neither quickly nor ever.

'Listen, Hisashi. You don't know anything at all.' Kogure remonstrated Mitsui. 'You don't know how to value what you have, you don't know how to appreciate anything. You're right, it's all your fault and you're nothing but a base, utilitarian scoundrel who's got the whole world revolving FOR you. But it has to stop here. I can't love you anymore; not now that I know that there's someone who can fill the gap I left. And that's Rukawa. I can never care for you like he does; imagine watching your loved one pining for another. Imagine how much of a blow it could match; but Rukawa took it. He did it all for you and you...all you can give him is this shit. You're half the man you are; you're one pluckless loser lost in reality.' Kogure finished almost with a scowl. And he stood up peremptorily as if to put an end to all this madness. He wouldn't take anymore of Mitsui's selfishness, just like Rukawa.

'Wait, Kogure. What can I do?' Mistui croaked, finally recognizing the sine qua non of Kogure's berating words.

'What can you do?' Kogure repeated sarcastically, his eyes in steep slit behind those glasses. 'Well, go after him. Apologize, anything. He's perfect for you; you're meant to be together anyway. 'Kogure ends his sentence with a strange, recuperated smile.

'You mean...'

'Hisashi, he loves you. And right now I know only too well that you are baffled by my presence and if I weren't here as a go-between, perhaps you can shout aloud in all the world that Rukawa means everything to you. That frown in your face right now is a good indication of a developing love.' Kogure said as a matter of factly. Again, an eerie smile lingere on his face and it seemed to Mitsui that this was salvation. It made sense...

'Develping love? Kiminobu, I don't get it.'

'Hahaha. Developing love, it is. It started with sensual attraction, right?' Kogure asked heartily as he received a hesitant, embarrassed nod from Mitsui. 'Ok. A little earlier you admitted that you are only physically magnetized by Rukawa's charms; but you know what? In the long run everything ends up in love after the sensual attraction, that initial feeling, evolves into a stronger form that will last for good, who knows. Hahaha. Hisashi, don't act like you don't know; we began THAT way. Passion conflagration, i.e., lust or exterior affinity was all we had and then as time drew on, love loomed. There's no difference in the case of you and Rukawa; eventually, you will love him as you have loved me. Don't forget that we too, started sloppily only we lacked a third party.' Kogure finished omnisciently like a love guru; it was almost funny to see him this blithe.

'Are you sure?' Mitsui curled his brow but that didn't really cut it; both he and Kogure knew that the querulous look was a feint. He was beginning to absorb it all together or perhaps he had started too a little earlier than now. What the hell. 'Kogure, should I go to him now?'

'Yeah. Tell him you've been cured and that you want to spend the night with him.' Kogure grinned sincerely; the first heartfelt grin since last night.

'And Kogure, will you forgive me?'

'Only on the condition that you would accept my apology.' Kogure said, still retaining his jubilant facial contortion.

'Of course. There was nothing to forgive in the first place. But please accept my gratitude; thank you for enlightening me.' Mitsui professed and he too smiled from ear to ear.

They swept back to the gym with higher spirits, lighter load, and more uplifted mood. Mitsui waited for no second to confront Rukawa; he would tell him everything. It might've lasted a very long time to explain everything to freshman but in the end...well, nothing really mattered. Mitsui and Rukawa were meant to be together, none could disapprove that. And just like what Kogure had advised, Mitsui and Rukawa spent the night together. The first legal sleepover that they had.

END

NOTE: This is packed with errors because I didn't bother to re-read it owing to the fact that it is so crappy it hurts my eyes just by popping an eye on its title. Arggghhhh, gomen, gomen. Being the author, I was heavily obliged to finish what I've started and since this is my first fic, I concede to the suckiness. Tell me that this sucks, I'll appreciate it. And to Michiko Hotie 19, I'm really, really sorry if the ending is an unforgivable scrap of filthy sh!t. I am still yet to look for that which will restore my faith to my abiltiy to write a serious love story. Anyway, I discovered something while working on this; it's been almost a year since I published this work and that's the only good thing in it; that it has been finished though in a rather plodded way.

120704

Night Strider 


End file.
